Your English Course
Mr. Teacher
Welcome to your English course! Together we will explore a full set of complex literary works, each of which stands on its own but also forms part of a larger conversation, as you will see. Or perhaps you won’t. It’s one of those things that’s kind of difficult to pull off, actually.
We will write extensively and in a variety of ways. This is a year to attempt to refine your own voice on paper. I mean this, and I really hope it happens, but I can’t make any promises. You’re going to have to do most of it yourself, and it mostly depends on where you’re starting from. If you’ve been reading all your life, you’re probably going to do fine (which is pretty unfair, I know). If you’ve never been much of a reader, I hope you’ll start. I can give you a list of good books that may annoy your peers and/or parents. I wish I could inspire everyone to read and think and love it, but I’m not exactly Robin Williams here.
In this class we will explore how literature makes meaning, and also how we make meaning in our own writing. The idea is that an encounter with really excellent writing could actually spark something for you. It’s all graded, though. Sorry about that.
Junior year is an exciting time, but also a stressful one. You’ll probably develop some awful habits. If you hide them well enough, I might not notice; I have a lot on my mind. Come and talk to me if you have questions, problems, or just want to chat. But I don’t really want to hear about the icky or illegal parts. That’s what your Art teacher is for.
In this class we will explore how literature makes meaning, and also how we make meaning in our own writing. The idea is that an encounter with really excellent writing could actually spark something for you. It’s all graded, though. Sorry about that.
Junior year is an exciting time, but also a stressful one. You’ll probably develop some awful habits. If you hide them well enough, I might not notice; I have a lot on my mind. Come and talk to me if you have questions, problems, or just want to chat. But I don’t really want to hear about the icky or illegal parts. That’s what your Art teacher is for.
Texts:
Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
An alcoholic’s book about boozy, self-destructive drinkers whose lives are imploding because of alcohol. We will use it to talk about bullfighting.
Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
An extraordinary account of 1930s Southern gothic girlhood via alcohol.
William Faulkner, As I Lay Dying
A dead body decomposes and talks about it. I’ll bet you ten bucks that Faulkner can’t even remember writing it.
Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
A minority writer, because sober. I will notice if you merely rent the movie about the bandaged guy.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
A fable of obscene wealth, lies, pretensions, and freedom from consequences. Sound familiar? Also, alcohol.
Shakespeare, Hamlet
Hamlet is a linguistically challenging and philosophically difficult dramatic study in the superiority of Kenneth Branagh over Mel Gibson.
…as well as a variety of short stories and poems photocopied in violation of somebody’s copyright.
Course Expectations:
Your Notebook and Homework: You must keep a notebook in English. Stop laughing. You should write down everything I say more or less exactly as I say it. This will help you to present it slightly differently in your own essays.
Writing will happen to you throughout the year. There will be written responses to reading, in-class writing practice, short written homework assignments, and longer critical essays. The longest assignment will be something close to five pages, or maybe four with creative margins. Don’t panic. You probably think this is a lot, but have you ever written a one-hundred-ten-page college thesis? Have you? I didn’t think so. Punk.
All writing for this class must be produced on a restored 1930s-era Underwood typewriter, the kind used by the all of the writers on our syllabus, possibly excluding Shakespeare. The Underwood is a sturdy and reliable machine capable of standing up to all manner of author eccentricities, peccadilloes, vices, and obscenities. During the Second World War, the Underwood Typewriter Company made M1 Carbines for the War Department. What did your iMac ever do to kill Nazis?
Reading: I will expect you to do all of the reading for each class before the time it is due. Actually, that’s the last thing I expect. Couldn’t you at least try?
Every sentence you don’t read is a stinging tear I weep for the future.
Speaking and listening are of utmost importance in your English work and in the world beyond. In class discussions you will practice articulating your ideas while also developing the attentive listening skills. This will allow you in the future to, you know, be proactive or leverage your competencies or think outside the box or something. Whatever.
A Note on Plagiarism:
Plagiarism is defined as the copying of another’s work, the use of a single essay for more than one course, misrepresentation of another’s work as your own, copying and pasting from Wikipedia, copying and pasting from Elizabeth, buying a fifty-dollar paper online the night before the assignment is due, dipping into the essay file at your older brother’s fraternity, having your girlfriend do your homework, copying and pasting from that guy’s website, digging through my recycling bin for discarded papers, having Mom “edit” your final draft, failing to adequately cite your sources, making up imaginary sources, failing to adequately cite your imaginary sources, or similar tricks designed to give the appearance that you wrote, did, or know something you haven’t, didn’t, or couldn’t possibly. In a world of spin, faulty logic, and shoddy attribution, being honest and accurate about your relationship to your sources is more important than ever. You’re not fooling anyone anyway.
Assessment Guide: The Rubric
Grade A (90-100)
* Demonstrates a thorough understanding of the complexity of literary texts. Willingness to deal with both (or more) sides of ambiguity. Congratulations! You will never win an election.
* Embarrasses teacher (who didn’t quite do the rereading this year) with recollection of textual facts.
* Can tell the business end of a metaphor.
Writing:
* An A paper can be graded in under ten minutes. This means more to me than you can possibly imagine.
Studentship:
* Active participant in class discussion. Saves classmates trouble.
* May I write you a college recommendation letter? Perhaps a supplemental?
* Popular with faculty. Unpopular with peers.
Grade B (80-89)
* Demonstrates coherent and adequate understanding of literary texts.
* Doesn’t always call a memoir a novel.
* Excellent recall of principal characters and their associated reductive themes.
Writing:
* Adequate focus present or nearby.
* Margins not ridiculous.
* Uses SAT-prep words, sometimes appropriately.
* Double-digit sentences.
* Adequately disguises summary as analysis.
Studentship:
* Nods appreciatively.
* Pretty much almost always prepared with book and assignments.
* Knows place.
Grade C (70-79)
* Bookmarks SparkNotes.
* Demonstrates a thorough understanding of book cover.
* Confuses main character with that actress in the miniseries.
* Connections are disjointed, irrelevant, fragmented, desperate, indicative, unsupported, and sad.
Writing:
* Broad generalizations drawn from a variety of contexts.
* Wild guesses still within ballpark.
* Regurgitation of other’s points and/or lunch.
* Forgets to save.
Studentship:
* Probably stoned.
Grade D: (60-69)
* Possibly a little.
Writing:
* The kind of thing I wish I could help.
* Really I do, but I hardly know where to start.
* Maybe it’s my fault?
Studentship:
* Thank you for playing.
Grade F: (59 and below)
* Believe me, I’m not looking forward to the parent conference any more than you are.
